But, as I grow up, I realize more and more the importance of maintaining friendships and meeting "good" people. I now let friends know that I care about them, too. I don't know if this is a good thing or not. I'm not talking in terms of romantic relationships, but in friendships. It's funny, because I'm not a constraint and commitment type of person in romantic relationships, but I definitely "forge" connections with friends. I get interested in people and like to find out about their backgrounds and let them know that I care about them. I don't know, is that weird? I like to be "good friends" (shit, I'm using a lot of quotes) with people as opposed to superficial acquaintances, although I have those too, and I don't know if that's a likable or unlikable characteristic. I guess I just try to be genuine and up-front. I think why sometimes I tire of going out all of the time (okay okay, more than once a week) is that 1) I like alone time to be productive and 2) I get tired of having facetious conversations with people all of the time. Although I like to dance and flirt as much as anyone else, I really, really like people who can talk to me about things other than drama and gossip. I don't pretend to be an amazingly fascinating and intellectual person, I feel like I won't ever read enough books or learn enough in this lifetime, but I enjoy different perspectives, even if it's the perfect fresh basil/pine nut ratio in pesto.
IF ANYONE WANTS TO GO OUT ON THURSDAY IN SEATTLE, FRIDAY IN SEATTLE/VANCOUVER, SATURDAY IN VANCOUVER, text/call/email me. I'm finishing a horrific course this week, and need to celebrate.
Thanks to Dizzee Rascal, Deerhunter, Wolf Parade, and, I'm not embarrassed, Sean Paul (I really hope in my next life I'm reincarnated as a much cooler person, people always laugh nervously when I tell them I can't help dancing to "Get Busy," because they can't tell if I'm joking), I survived my move. I have been moving all weekend. I can't believe how many times I've moved in my life already!
Anyone I've talked to knows how I was debating about whether to move back to Canada or what, but I'm sticking it out in America a little longer. I've always been the type of person who followed gut instinct in terms of what to do with my life, but I am beginning to feel like gut instinct is something that's better to ignore. I'm not sure yet, but it always seems like my wants differ from my shoulds. I'd like it if they were one and the same....maybe this is what growing up is? Or not? I can honestly say that I have no idea where I will be or what I will be doing in 3 months. I keep waiting for some kind of intervention or feeling to overtake me and aid my decision, but, so far, I don't trust my instincts at all.
Typical of me, I made this whole decision two weeks ago, and two days later I was putting down a deposit on an apartment. I feel good about this move though. I was really hating my old neighbourhood. It's nice, boring, and yuppie, just not for me. I was getting frustrated with the neighbourhood and my lack of space and various other things. Compounded by a lot of conflicting feelings about where and how I want my life to be....I didn't have the best summer ever.
So, now, I love my new neighbourhood. It's close to bars and restaurants I actually go to, and I can walk to everything.
My new place is pretty nice, too. It was a block long walk home from the bar the other night. You know your night's been horrific when the DJ thanks you for dancing to everything they played the entire night. Every boyfriend gets into the habit of trying to drag me away from parties/dance nights at a reasonable hour or, ahem, getting wastey faced, falling in a ditch, and requiring an escort to a cab. I also sincerely hope that in my next life I'm reincarnated as someone who's a good dancer.
I don't know if there's some kind of sociological difference between the USA and Canada- but I've been approached by more guys in bars/coffee shops/bus/street/parties in Seattle in the past year than in my entire life in Vancouver, despite that I'm now decomposing faster than......a soggy bag of lettuce (that analogy is weaker than....a kitten....and so on). Also despite that I'm always wearing headphones. Maybe people are just more forward here?
That's not how we indirect Canadians work it. We'd see someone out at the bar, not introduce ourselves, stalk them online, and drunk message them. Not that I've ever done that, of course not. I'm pretty sure a frat boy that I met out at the soccer camp with the kids wrote a "Missed Connections" on Craigslist to me. I really attract the best: he wrote "luv ur soccer skillz, want to go 4 a brew?"
I think you can probably tell that I'm in a transitional phase where I'm trying to figure out.....a lot of things. I think in the past year or two I've consciously decided to calm down and be more productive, but something might have been lost in the translation. If anyone has any ideas on how to be an adult in their mid-twenties, I welcome your ideas. It's just like, I don't feel all that more mature (okay, considerably more mellow) than 5 years ago, but I still don't have it all figured out. I know I want something else, but I don't know what that is yet.
I promise this whole blog won't be all about me, unlike my last one (which, of course, still technically exists). I'll write something more interesting sometime. And by sometime, I mean next weekend.
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