I haven't written here in a long while, because my thoughts have been consumed with life changes, and I have never felt entirely comfortable discussing my relationships on the internet. My relationship with Paul ended a month ago, which is a good thing, considering that, after my 6 hour drive northward (from Portland) I felt nothing but relief.
Relief that I had decided, rightly, that I wasn't in love with this person anymore and that we weren't right for each other. We are both good people, but, to be succinct, he's just East Coat and I'm just West Coast. I'm super laid back and love sangria and spontaneous dance parties - and with Paul, I felt like I was dating Woody Allen. I drove him crazy with my laissez faire attitude, and his neuroses drove me absolutely batty.
I also felt relief as soon as I crossed the Canadian border and realized that I wouldn't have to keep dealing with Homeland Security and enduring the scrutiny involved in renewing my work visa. Although I love some aspects of American culture (IE dirt cheap happy hour), I do feel that the cheap alcohol and cheap shopping was akin to an opiate of the poor. Although I, ironically, left 4 days after the inauguration of Barack Obama, I am relieved to walk away from such a militaristic culture. My ex boyfriend said that the Canadians he met in Vancouver were all too "naive" for his taste. Although Canada, particularly with the current Conservative administration, is far from perfect, he took issue with the rampant idealism and optimism that could only result from a culture used to universal healthcare.
I just wanted to address this so I could move on. There are many proximate and fundamental causes to this decision but, ultimately, we just weren't compatible. This is a decision I should have come to a year ago, but didn't for fear of regret. Romantic relationships are difficult enough that it's not often worth it. For now, I am happily independent.
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