The old ball and chains is always away, it seems.

I don't mind though, I love time alone to lie around in my pajamas and watch old movies.

I was having a 1960s themed weekend. A lot of sangria, a little Godard, a little Truffaut, then on to Arthur Penn's "Bonnie and Clyde." Then I put a scarf around my head and watched the Grey Gardens documentary (its entertainment value is seriously overrated) until I fell asleep for a Sunday nap at 4PM. One day I am definitely going to turn into Miss Havisham from Great Expectations.

I also kind of like alone time in order to gain control of the record player/sound system.

I always feel unsure of what to answer when someone asks me what my taste in music is. My first inclination is to answer, "everything!" But, really, that just isn't true. I would say I like some music from almost every genre, save for modern country (sorry Mom, but it's like the worst music ever, you're probably the only non-Republican who listens to it).

But I do like some bluegrass and alt-country; in fact, I was raised on it. You may scoff, but sure, I have a Whiskeytown record. Wilco, Willie Nelson, Patsy Cline, Gillian Welch and M.Ward too, among others.

I'm sadly ignorant of world music. The closest I've come to it is Diplo.

1990's indie rock? Obviously! Riot GRRL? Hell, I was tempted to move to Olympia at the age of 11 in the midst of that phase. Electronica? How could you be a 1990's teen and not be into it? If I'm feeling really nostalgic and have had a few PBRs, sometimes I put on Alice in Chains. French pop? Yes, bring on the Serge. 1960s garage? Yes! 1960s most anything? Yes! Punk? Some yes, some no. Jazz? I don't know anything about modern, but from the 1940s-1960s, totally. Noise music? Well, I like Black Dice and Melt Banana, if that 0ualifies. Rap, obviously, I'm a 1980s child and a 1990s teen. Electroclash, most definitely. I like what some people term "Northern Soul," but I do take issue with a bunch of white mod Brits defining and identifying a genre dominated by African Americans. No-wave, new wave, 1960s Jamaican music, folk (some), and tons of the bands out right now.....

My ex-boyfriend Luke, a member of the soon-to-be-defunct noise outfit Basketball, once described my music taste as "accessible." Probably a fair assessment, but there is a difference between the music I listen to at home and like to listen to at a party.

If I was throwing a party tonight, I'd probably play some James Brown, Gang of Four, New Order, M.I.A., ELO, the Buzzcocks, the Cool Kids, The Stone Roses,Yes, The Smiths, Elvis Costello, Rhianna, MGMT, Tapes n' Tapes, Jay-z, Grand Ole Party, the Makeup, the Brian Jonestown Massacre, the Murder City Devils, the Raveonettes, Detroit Cobras, Peaches, Kings of Leon, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Interpol, the Klaxons maybe I'd do some 1990s revival with Elastica, Daft Punk, and Pulp, hell, even some Sandstorm....all pretty standard for a kid
(okay, okay, adult) my age. I do like most everything. Sure I'll take it, I like accessible music.

Being around music snobs my entire dating history, I've been told I'm not a "music person." But I'm okay with that. I know I'm not.

I've given up on trying to be cool, it just doesn't come naturally.

I'm not a film snob either.

I just like to have a good time.

Children of the Corn

The 6 year old I work with is starting to ask the big questions such as, "okay, so, who was good? The Cowboys or the Indians?"

Hah, that's a loaded question, if any.

Girl Drama

It's always weird living in a new place.

Being a born-and-raised Vancouverite, I've never had to worry too much about going out of my way to make friends. Well, aside from my high school years where I had about two friends due to my shyness, inability to relate to others in my peer group, and tendencies to tote around a copy of War and Peace. That and my somewhat pretentious 16 year old belief I was a card-carrying turtleneck-wearing member of the Beat Generation meant I just never fit in in high school. Thankfully I had a few friends to go to shows with, sneak out to raves to (sorry Mom and Dad, aren't teens awful), and sneak into college parties with.

College for me was a revelation. Suddenly, I was in a small program of 30 students who loved discussing philosophy, postmodern art, indie rock, and Russian and French Literature. I don't think I will ever again replicate the excitement I felt at that age in discovering that there were other people who liked to sit around and discuss nerdy things. At the same time, I began to get more involved in the Vancouver music scene, and began to go out drinking and dancing with a bunch of other former-rave kids excited that bands like the Rapture and the Moving Units were producing danceable music. To this day, I have to stifle urges for a nostalgic group hug when Pulp's "Common People" is played at the bar. I do sort of miss those days before everyone was so cool...back when you could still go out in white belts and black jeans we were just dorky kids looking for cool people to dance with. It's funny, because now there's cool stuff going on pretty much every night in Vancouver, but it wasn't always like that. Remember when there we were the only people on the dancefloor? And there was only Mod Club, BritPop Night, and even once in awhile...1980s night at Shine? We weren't as stylized as "those damn kids" today either.

If you weren't a 1990s teen or college kid, you just wouldn't understand. I won't even get started on my undying love of the 1990s. Grunge, rap, riot grrrl, electronica, triphop, folk, britpop indie rock.....anyways, back on topic.

Anyways, when you stay in one city for (aside from a few attempted escapes) years on end, you begin to take making friends for granted. I always had college friends, bar friends, and work friends from all walks of life. Now, since I spontaneously moved to a new city where my boyfriend already lived, I'm sort of stuck with the friends he's made, and it makes me realize how we attract different types of people.

I really hate pretension as a character trait; however, it doesn't bother Paul. I like anyone who's fun, nice, and interesting. We've been to a few parties and nights out, where none of his friends really make me feel welcome. Part of the problem is that he's made these friendships with all of these single girls who are already emotionally attached to and somewhat possessive of him. I'm not the type of person to get jealous or be competitive with other girls for male attention. I personally think it's anti-feminist and disempowering. I also don't take flirting and crushes too seriously; if some guy I think is cute introduces me to his girlfriend, I'll go out of my way to be nice to her. Apparently, not everyone feels the same. One of his close Seattle friends told Paul she didn't like girls like me "who wear dresses" as an excuse for not wanting to include me in plans to go out. All of this immature emotional manipulation is, frankly, a bit pathetic, especially considering all of these people are older than me.

I'd never ever be the type of girlfriend to restrict someone's friendships or discourage them from going out without me- I don't like possessive people, so I try not to be one.

I just hate the tendency of some girls to compete for male attention. It sets the whole women movement back a few years, non?

I've just gotten to the age where I don't want to waste time hanging out with emotionally unstable people. I'm sure there are lots of fun and easygoing people in Seattle, but this particular segment of the population that has befriended Paul is slightly over-dramatic. I guess part of what has desensitized me to these kind of jealousy is the limited numbers of Vancouver kids- lots of people I'm friendly with have made out with my ex-boyfriends and current boyfriends. If you couldn't let go of jealousy, then you just wouldn't have any friends. Who knows.

I just saw Jim Jarmusch's "Night on Earth," a film with 5 vignettes from Helsinki, LA, Paris, Rome, and New York. I don't know how I missed seeing this since I loved "Stranger than Paradise," "Dead Man," "Mystery Train" and even "Coffee and Cigarettes," but it's totally great and totally engrossing. I mean, Winona Ryder as a cab driver and a soundtrack by Tom Waits? What else do you need, really?


Since I'm on the topic of movies, I finally received Andrew Bujalski's "Funny Ha Ha" which was finished in 2002, but just released in theaters last year. I enjoyed it, but then again, I'm the target audience. Currently, I love amusing films with low production values and authentic humour about the post-college experience. Imperfect but totally appealing. Super awkward, not amazingly original, but you know, one of those movies you thought you'd make 6 months after graduating from NYU film school.



Link for review, if you're into that

Sad Songs Say So Much

Even though I'm not an emo teen anymore, sometimes I have rough days. I have hungover days, and days when I wonder where my life is going (nevermind, I know the answer, nowhere fast! hah!). When I was younger I would sit in the (metaphorical, please) filth of my own torment and listen to Elliot Smith on repeat and write what I thought were deeply original thoughts on my typewriter.

Now that I have come to the realization that I am just like everyone else in their affected existential crises about nothing (although, perhaps, my favourite, Tolstoy, would disagree, you know..."Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way"). Or perhaps everyone just feels that we're all unhappy in our own way, regardless, rather than wallowing in my own miseries and anxieties about how my life isn't going the way I want, I have a much healthier coping mechanism: denial.

I usually watch old romantic black and white movies, or watch Flight of the Conchords or Arrested Development on DVD. Today I am having a rough day, and maybe, just maybe, you are too.