I just read Vladimir Nabokov's "The Real Life of Sebastian Knight". I can't believe I haven't read it until now; I agree with the critic michael dirda's assertion that "questions lie at the heart of nabakovian fiction, a fiction full of ambiguity, traps for the unwary, camoflaged clues, tongue-in cheek parody, and dizzying paradoxes". This was his first novel written in English. With Nabakov, nothing is ever as it first appears, but what really kills me is the beauty of his language: "possibly underappreciated, are the novel's atmospheric vignettes: scenes of old Russia, romantic Paris between the wars, rain- swept Cambridge.These imbue "The Real Life of Sebastoan Knight" with a distinct period feel, one reminiscent of so many grainy, shadowy 1930s black-and-white films".
Tonight I was let in free too see Glass Candy, Farah, Nite Jewel and more at Rotture, a bar that has good dance nights every weekend and a rad soul night on Thursdays. Next to Holoscene, it's my favourite PDx venue for dance nights.
And, next week at work, I get to start writing ad copy. I mean, it's not exactly the equivalent of publishing an essay in McSweeneys, but nonetheless, it is nice to have my boss think I'm a good writer capable of writing ads (that being said, writing ads does feel a little weird after allow those years spent supporting adbusters, but.....).
Also, I always feel a little shy about people I don't know that well reading this (and for some reason, I know people are) because I do worry that I must come off as more emotional, self- centered, and neurotic than the relatively happy and fun girl I am in real life, but.......oh well, that's what I guess happens when I update this while drinking wine all alone in my apartment late at night: even a girl as prickly as a porcupine and as impervious (impenetrable?) as.....a rain jacket ( that's so cheesy) lets her guard down and becomes a little sensitive.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
I just read Vladimir Nabokov's "The Real Life of Sebastian Knight". I can't believe I haven't read it until now; I agree with the critic michael dirda's assertion that "questions lie at the heart of nabakovian fiction, a fiction full of ambiguity, traps for the unwary, camoflaged clues, tongue-in cheek parody, and dizzying paradoxes". This was his first novel written in English. With Nabakov, nothing is ever as it first appears, but what really kills me is the beauty of his language: "possibly underappreciated, are the novel's atmospheric vignettes: scenes of old Russia, romantic Paris between the wars, rain- swept Cambridge.These imbue "The Real Life of Sebastoan Knight" with a distinct period feel, one reminiscent of so many grainy, shadowy 1930s black-and-white films".
Tonight I was let in free too see Glass Candy, Farah, Nite Jewel and more at Rotture, a bar that has good dance nights every weekend and a rad soul night on Thursdays. Next to Holoscene, it's my favourite PDx venue for dance nights.
And, next week at work, I get to start writing ad copy. I mean, it's not exactly the equivalent of publishing an essay in McSweeneys, but nonetheless, it is nice to have my boss think I'm a good writer capable of writing ads (that being said, writing ads does feel a little weird after allow those years spent supporting adbusters, but.....).
Also, I always feel a little shy about people I don't know that well reading this (and for some reason, I know people are) because I do worry that I must come off as more emotional, self- centered, and neurotic than the relatively happy and fun girl I am in real life, but.......oh well, that's what I guess happens when I update this while drinking wine all alone in my apartment late at night: even a girl as prickly as a porcupine and as impervious (impenetrable?) as.....a rain jacket ( that's so cheesy) lets her guard down and becomes a little sensitive.
Tonight I was let in free too see Glass Candy, Farah, Nite Jewel and more at Rotture, a bar that has good dance nights every weekend and a rad soul night on Thursdays. Next to Holoscene, it's my favourite PDx venue for dance nights.
And, next week at work, I get to start writing ad copy. I mean, it's not exactly the equivalent of publishing an essay in McSweeneys, but nonetheless, it is nice to have my boss think I'm a good writer capable of writing ads (that being said, writing ads does feel a little weird after allow those years spent supporting adbusters, but.....).
Also, I always feel a little shy about people I don't know that well reading this (and for some reason, I know people are) because I do worry that I must come off as more emotional, self- centered, and neurotic than the relatively happy and fun girl I am in real life, but.......oh well, that's what I guess happens when I update this while drinking wine all alone in my apartment late at night: even a girl as prickly as a porcupine and as impervious (impenetrable?) as.....a rain jacket ( that's so cheesy) lets her guard down and becomes a little sensitive.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
My belly's still full from last night's dinner at The Farm Cafe , a lovely restaurant in an old house that focuses on locally-sourced fresh food. We drank Pinot Noir and gorged ourselves on rosemary roasted hazelnuts, baked Brie, herb crusted tofu with mushroom Marsala sauce, and goat cheese ravioli with fresh basil, pecorino, and hazelnuts. It's funny, I hate packaged junk food, but I'm happy to indulge on really good fresh food and wine. It was just such a charming place to celebrate the 28th birthday of the boy I'm dating. After that we drank pumpkin ale and watched The Pineapple Express at the 3 dollar theatre.
I love night's filled with good people and good food. It is undeniably nice to have someone who wants to celebrate their birthday on a date with me.
Despite what people say about getting old and boring, I think each year just gets more and more fun. You know, I think right now is a pretty amazing time in life.
I love night's filled with good people and good food. It is undeniably nice to have someone who wants to celebrate their birthday on a date with me.
Despite what people say about getting old and boring, I think each year just gets more and more fun. You know, I think right now is a pretty amazing time in life.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Don't fall in love with the autograph
Another Friday night spent on the couch drinking wine and reading Nabakov. Sometimes, I think these are my favourite kinds of Friday nights.
Although I do really like going out too. I actually think I'm starting a 1990s dance night (it was their idea, I just talked my way in) with 3 others and I have to come up with a DJ name. I guess girl DJs are always somewhat marketable?
If anyone has any ideas....
It's funny, I got really mad today, and I don't usually. But, and I think this is characteristic of women in the post-feminist era, I hate not being taken seriously. I always feel like I'm in kind of a dilemma, because obviously, I want to be considered attractive, but I also want to be heard.
I always feel like, in relationships, at some point, boyfriends abandon all pretense at intelligent conversation and begin talking to me like I'm some kind of wriggly puppy. Nothing makes me grouchier than being genuinely upset about something and having someone grab my cheeks, make a face, and say "you look so cute when you're mad."
Sometimes I feel like I'm some kind of accessory. And I'm not saying that I think this happens because I'm unusually attractive, but I think, sometimes, my love for dresses and vintage things and old jewelry and silver tea trays and sleepovers and picnics and vegan cupcakes, in other words "cute and pretty things" distracts people from the fact that I'm a person with, if maybe the not the most revelatory, valid things to say. I just have always believed that life, at least for us in (relatively) democratic nations, doesn't have to be a struggle. It isn't frivolous or superficial to want things to be beautiful and lovely. What's the point if you're not having fun? Sometimes, I think that people who are so serious about being a serious artist and intellectual must harbor some insecurities. Many of the most intelligent people I know are also the silliest.
Maybe this condescension is characteristic of people who consider themselves "artists" or amateur philosophes. Or maybe, this problem isn't gender-specific.
As frustrating as it is, it also is really, simply, incredibly boring to have someone talk about how cute they think your expressions are for hours.
Why do we share our excitement about life and interests with people we just meet for the first time, but not for the people we've known for years? Or maybe, it's hard to let people who know you so well see your new aspirations and ideas, because we fear criticism? Why is it so hard to find someone fascinating once you know all of their quirks? Do you think we're more ourselves with people we meet for the first time or people we see everyday? On the one hand, when we meet someone new, we're unburdened by any kind of attachment, expectations, or baggage. We are, essentially, free to create and invent a new sense of ourselves in the eyes of this person. There is a certain kind of freedom. And, maybe, that's partly what's so attractive about new people. There is also something indescribably amazing about connecting with anyone, be it friend or crush, for the first time. I, at least, love the intoxicating feeling of having a really really good conversation with someone for the first time. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, it's really good. Maybe it's just refreshing, in the age of fast food relationships, to meet genuine people and get to know them beyond their Facebook interests or the social capital they flaunt. I do wonder, from time to time, what happened to the people I've spent hours talking to at different points in my life that I lost along the way. One time, I met a boy at a party when I was 17, and we talked all night, and forgot to exchange numbers before leaving. About 5 years later, we met at a party, sort of stared at each other all night, and finally, begrudgingly admitted that we had both recognized the other, instantly.
Maybe that's part of the reason that we move and travel, to momentarily gain freedom from the shackles of our past. Everytime I've broken up with someone or had a really bad week, I've been tempted to cut ties and take off from my life.
But maybe, who we are is who we are with the people we've known for years or see everyday before we've prettied our insides and outsides for public consumption. Maybe none of the pretensions we adopt or the bullshit we bat around really matter. Maybe who we are is once we're disarmed of this struggle to impress, our fairy glamour, if you will.
Do you think everyone finds everyone silly and boring after a while?
Can't someone be frivolous and intelligent?
What was the point of this again? I lost my fucking thesis.
Some kind of English major I am. Finding a point in my posts is like finding a...... clean needle on East Hastings.
Although I do really like going out too. I actually think I'm starting a 1990s dance night (it was their idea, I just talked my way in) with 3 others and I have to come up with a DJ name. I guess girl DJs are always somewhat marketable?
If anyone has any ideas....
It's funny, I got really mad today, and I don't usually. But, and I think this is characteristic of women in the post-feminist era, I hate not being taken seriously. I always feel like I'm in kind of a dilemma, because obviously, I want to be considered attractive, but I also want to be heard.
I always feel like, in relationships, at some point, boyfriends abandon all pretense at intelligent conversation and begin talking to me like I'm some kind of wriggly puppy. Nothing makes me grouchier than being genuinely upset about something and having someone grab my cheeks, make a face, and say "you look so cute when you're mad."
Sometimes I feel like I'm some kind of accessory. And I'm not saying that I think this happens because I'm unusually attractive, but I think, sometimes, my love for dresses and vintage things and old jewelry and silver tea trays and sleepovers and picnics and vegan cupcakes, in other words "cute and pretty things" distracts people from the fact that I'm a person with, if maybe the not the most revelatory, valid things to say. I just have always believed that life, at least for us in (relatively) democratic nations, doesn't have to be a struggle. It isn't frivolous or superficial to want things to be beautiful and lovely. What's the point if you're not having fun? Sometimes, I think that people who are so serious about being a serious artist and intellectual must harbor some insecurities. Many of the most intelligent people I know are also the silliest.
Maybe this condescension is characteristic of people who consider themselves "artists" or amateur philosophes. Or maybe, this problem isn't gender-specific.
As frustrating as it is, it also is really, simply, incredibly boring to have someone talk about how cute they think your expressions are for hours.
Why do we share our excitement about life and interests with people we just meet for the first time, but not for the people we've known for years? Or maybe, it's hard to let people who know you so well see your new aspirations and ideas, because we fear criticism? Why is it so hard to find someone fascinating once you know all of their quirks? Do you think we're more ourselves with people we meet for the first time or people we see everyday? On the one hand, when we meet someone new, we're unburdened by any kind of attachment, expectations, or baggage. We are, essentially, free to create and invent a new sense of ourselves in the eyes of this person. There is a certain kind of freedom. And, maybe, that's partly what's so attractive about new people. There is also something indescribably amazing about connecting with anyone, be it friend or crush, for the first time. I, at least, love the intoxicating feeling of having a really really good conversation with someone for the first time. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, it's really good. Maybe it's just refreshing, in the age of fast food relationships, to meet genuine people and get to know them beyond their Facebook interests or the social capital they flaunt. I do wonder, from time to time, what happened to the people I've spent hours talking to at different points in my life that I lost along the way. One time, I met a boy at a party when I was 17, and we talked all night, and forgot to exchange numbers before leaving. About 5 years later, we met at a party, sort of stared at each other all night, and finally, begrudgingly admitted that we had both recognized the other, instantly.
Maybe that's part of the reason that we move and travel, to momentarily gain freedom from the shackles of our past. Everytime I've broken up with someone or had a really bad week, I've been tempted to cut ties and take off from my life.
But maybe, who we are is who we are with the people we've known for years or see everyday before we've prettied our insides and outsides for public consumption. Maybe none of the pretensions we adopt or the bullshit we bat around really matter. Maybe who we are is once we're disarmed of this struggle to impress, our fairy glamour, if you will.
Do you think everyone finds everyone silly and boring after a while?
Can't someone be frivolous and intelligent?
What was the point of this again? I lost my fucking thesis.
Some kind of English major I am. Finding a point in my posts is like finding a...... clean needle on East Hastings.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
I hope everyone voted against Stephen Harper....poll day was today, wasn't it? I don't even know- the US news never really covers Canada. I voted by proxy.
It's crazy....
you know how you could be single for ages (an astute person could, at this point, gently suggest that I've never been single for ages)....and you only meet loser after loser, and then, once you finally land on a good boy and snap him up, suddenly cute and charming boy after boy emerges from the proverbial woodwork?
Well, same thing with jobs. I finally take a job I like, and employers keep calling.....it does make me wonder a little if it's reprehensible to quit a job for a better opportunity a week after your start date? I once read an article that said that, on average, a person will change their career 7 times before the age of 30. At the time, I was shocked, but then I realized it was only because I never equated my "day jobs" with "careers". Probably a symptom of my female version of the Peter Pan syndrome.
But, I like my current job so far. It's kind of cool that I get to review resumes for openings throughout the pacific northwest and deal with payroll/employee issues from portland, seattle and spokane, and everywhere in between. In the future, I will be taking business trips to- wait for it- Spokane, Seattle, and Vancouver, BC. So, maybe not the most exciting locations for a business trip for me, personally, but it will be kind of cool if I get to work out of Seattle and Vancouver and visit people there.
For some reason, my employers think I have a future in "sales"- I have to say, it's nothing I've ever imagined myself in, but, it can't be that hard to charm a bunch of old men in suits at business dinners, right? I do sort of wish that the VP of sales hadn't spent the entire business meeting today staring at my legs under the table, but hey, whatever.
This weekend was pretty mellow...but I did see a couple of good shows.
I did see Ponytail , who erupted from the emerging Baltimore music scene and High Places (I think out of Brooklyn?) and they're both pretty rad bands.
High Places photo by Pitchfork
Ponytail photo by Pitchfork
I also went to see "The Oh Sees" from the Bay area at a neighbourhood bar....it was a really good show, too. I think they're somehow associated with Seattle's "The Intelligence", who are very Seattle band that everyone I knew made fun of (I really have to stop hanging out with anarchist noise punks, it makes me so easily impressed by people who are nice) but I actually liked.
On Sunday, I went to a benefit for the Portland Radio Authority, an internet radio station at the East End. I recently wrote a long-winded article about the challenges that independent radio faces, and it's become increasingly important to keep these media outlets open and operating.
Also, I watched the film "The Painted Veil" and I thought it was stunning and perfectly subtle...although the boy that fell asleep on the couch beside me might disagree. I never saw the original film, which starred (I believe) Greta Garbo, but I read the novel by W. Somerset Maugham ages ago.
It's crazy....
you know how you could be single for ages (an astute person could, at this point, gently suggest that I've never been single for ages)....and you only meet loser after loser, and then, once you finally land on a good boy and snap him up, suddenly cute and charming boy after boy emerges from the proverbial woodwork?
Well, same thing with jobs. I finally take a job I like, and employers keep calling.....it does make me wonder a little if it's reprehensible to quit a job for a better opportunity a week after your start date? I once read an article that said that, on average, a person will change their career 7 times before the age of 30. At the time, I was shocked, but then I realized it was only because I never equated my "day jobs" with "careers". Probably a symptom of my female version of the Peter Pan syndrome.
But, I like my current job so far. It's kind of cool that I get to review resumes for openings throughout the pacific northwest and deal with payroll/employee issues from portland, seattle and spokane, and everywhere in between. In the future, I will be taking business trips to- wait for it- Spokane, Seattle, and Vancouver, BC. So, maybe not the most exciting locations for a business trip for me, personally, but it will be kind of cool if I get to work out of Seattle and Vancouver and visit people there.
For some reason, my employers think I have a future in "sales"- I have to say, it's nothing I've ever imagined myself in, but, it can't be that hard to charm a bunch of old men in suits at business dinners, right? I do sort of wish that the VP of sales hadn't spent the entire business meeting today staring at my legs under the table, but hey, whatever.
This weekend was pretty mellow...but I did see a couple of good shows.
I did see Ponytail , who erupted from the emerging Baltimore music scene and High Places (I think out of Brooklyn?) and they're both pretty rad bands.
High Places photo by Pitchfork
Ponytail photo by Pitchfork
I also went to see "The Oh Sees" from the Bay area at a neighbourhood bar....it was a really good show, too. I think they're somehow associated with Seattle's "The Intelligence", who are very Seattle band that everyone I knew made fun of (I really have to stop hanging out with anarchist noise punks, it makes me so easily impressed by people who are nice) but I actually liked.
On Sunday, I went to a benefit for the Portland Radio Authority, an internet radio station at the East End. I recently wrote a long-winded article about the challenges that independent radio faces, and it's become increasingly important to keep these media outlets open and operating.
Also, I watched the film "The Painted Veil" and I thought it was stunning and perfectly subtle...although the boy that fell asleep on the couch beside me might disagree. I never saw the original film, which starred (I believe) Greta Garbo, but I read the novel by W. Somerset Maugham ages ago.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
3 boring housekeeping things about meI want to talk about:
also, never organize your email at happy hour (yes, I am that old now) because your festive fingers will mix up the delete and reply buttons. And, yes, send out accidental emails. Lots of them.
1. I am planning to be in Vancouver and Seattle (sooner) at points within the next two months. And, possibly, (later) San Francisco and Mexico. There are things I want in Vancouver, like my snowboard, bike, and table, so I might rent a car at some point and road trip it, so if you know of anyone who would like to take a fun trip from Portland or Seattle to Vancouver & back.....I'm an excellent road vacation partner. A crappy roommate, but, a fabulous vacation partner.
or, alternatively, if anyone wants to plan a weekend in the Bay area with me....let's do that.
2. I found a job. I was kind of hoping they'd want me to start...in a week or two, but they want me to start...tomorrow.
Unfortunately, it's only 5-6 hours a day, but after being offered these stupid customer service/receptionist jobs which, while fine, would be boring and easy, I really wanted to take it, especially since one economist described the Portland economy as a bunch of "overqualified underemployed college grads serving coffee to each other".
I'm going to be working in human resources in the personnel department. I get to interview candidates all day, do background/reference checks, and see if they would be a good fit with jobs.
It would be good money if it was full-time, but I think it's going to become full-time at some point in the near future, and there's tons of room for growth, which is super good. It's sort of a starting point, but they could really see me in a more strategic sales and marketing position once there's an opening.
But for the next couple of months, until the new position opens up, I either need to be super good with money or find something extra as well- like work in a store or, or bar or something, blah. Especially because there are things I would like to buy...a new camera, a vehicle, a new bicycle, a snowboard jacket, a surfboard.
3. If you haven't, do read "Geek Love". I think I avoided it because, despite the awards it won, I just assumed it was like...High Fidelity for the World of Warcraft set, but it's not. It's a fascinating novel about a family of freaks and carnies.
I don't know if I've felt so uncomfortable reading descriptive narrative since Middlesex. But it's amazing and engrossing....
also, never organize your email at happy hour (yes, I am that old now) because your festive fingers will mix up the delete and reply buttons. And, yes, send out accidental emails. Lots of them.
1. I am planning to be in Vancouver and Seattle (sooner) at points within the next two months. And, possibly, (later) San Francisco and Mexico. There are things I want in Vancouver, like my snowboard, bike, and table, so I might rent a car at some point and road trip it, so if you know of anyone who would like to take a fun trip from Portland or Seattle to Vancouver & back.....I'm an excellent road vacation partner. A crappy roommate, but, a fabulous vacation partner.
or, alternatively, if anyone wants to plan a weekend in the Bay area with me....let's do that.
2. I found a job. I was kind of hoping they'd want me to start...in a week or two, but they want me to start...tomorrow.
Unfortunately, it's only 5-6 hours a day, but after being offered these stupid customer service/receptionist jobs which, while fine, would be boring and easy, I really wanted to take it, especially since one economist described the Portland economy as a bunch of "overqualified underemployed college grads serving coffee to each other".
I'm going to be working in human resources in the personnel department. I get to interview candidates all day, do background/reference checks, and see if they would be a good fit with jobs.
It would be good money if it was full-time, but I think it's going to become full-time at some point in the near future, and there's tons of room for growth, which is super good. It's sort of a starting point, but they could really see me in a more strategic sales and marketing position once there's an opening.
But for the next couple of months, until the new position opens up, I either need to be super good with money or find something extra as well- like work in a store or, or bar or something, blah. Especially because there are things I would like to buy...a new camera, a vehicle, a new bicycle, a snowboard jacket, a surfboard.
3. If you haven't, do read "Geek Love". I think I avoided it because, despite the awards it won, I just assumed it was like...High Fidelity for the World of Warcraft set, but it's not. It's a fascinating novel about a family of freaks and carnies.
I don't know if I've felt so uncomfortable reading descriptive narrative since Middlesex. But it's amazing and engrossing....
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